This is the second part of a series on relationships. Now that we have seen what unhealthy relationships look like, let’s learn the characteristics of healthy relationships. Please have another conversation with your loved ones. Please tell them how happy you want them to be and these are the minimum requirements of a healthy relationship. This series is courtesy of the February 2019 issue of the Bernco Sheriff’s newsletter, the “Communicator.”

“Healthy relationships share certain characteristics that our youth should be taught to expect:

• Mutual respect: Respect means that each person values who the other is and understands the other person’s boundaries.
• Trust: Partners should place trust in each other and give each other the benefit of the doubt.
• Honesty: Honesty builds trust and strengthens the relationship.
• Compromise: In a dating relationship, each partner does not always get his or her way. Each should acknowledge different points of view and be willing to give and take.
• Individuality: Neither partner should have to compromise who he/she is, and his/her identity should not be based on a partner’s. Each should continue seeing his or her friends and doing the things, he/she loves. Each should be supportive of his/her partner wanting to pursue new hobbies or make new friends.
• Good communication: Each partner should speak honestly and openly to avoid miscommunication. If one person needs to sort out his or her feelings first, the other partner should respect those wishes and wait until he or she is ready to talk.
• Anger control: We all get angry, but how we express it can affect our relationships with others. Anger can be handled in healthy ways such as taking a deep breath, counting to ten, or talking it out.
• Fighting fair. Everyone argues at some point, but those who are fair, stick to the subject, and avoid insults are more likely to come up with a possible solution. Partners should take a short break away from each other if the discussion gets too heated.
• Problem solving: Dating partners can learn to solve problems and identify new solutions by breaking a problem into small parts or by talking through the situation.
• Each partner should take time to understand what the other might be feeling.
• Self-confidence: When dating partners have confidence in themselves, it can help their relationships with others. It shows that they are calm and comfortable enough to allow others to express their opinions without forcing their own opinions on them.
• Being a role model: By embodying what respect means, partners can inspire each other, friends, and family to also behave in a respectful way.
• Healthy sexual relationship: Dating partners engage in a sexual relationship that both are comfortable with, and neither partner feels pressured or forced to engage in sexual activity that is outside his or her comfort zone or without consent.”

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Hi Neighbors and friends – Let’s show our community pride and have fun at the same time!!

It’s time for the Neighborhood Clean Up and it’s this  Saturday, April 27th, 9am to 12pm.

Volunteers meet at Rinconada Point Park (Bob McCannon Parkway & Painted Rock) for bags & supplies.

PLEASE NOTE: Only those items that fit in a bag will be picked up on this day.  The City will not pick up large items (stove, mattresses, etc.).

For more information go to: www.keepalbuquerquebeautiful.com

Looking forward to seeing everyone!

With Spring, come young love. And, whereas those of us who are old enough to have teenage children know that there is a miniscule chance of teenage love lasting, unfortunately teenagers do not have the experience to know better. This will be a 3-part series on recognizing unhealthy relationships, recognizing healthy relationships, and recognizing abusive relationships. All of this is from the February 2019 issue of the Bernco Sheriff’s newsletter, the “Communicator.” Is it time for another conversation with your loved ones?

“Unhealthy relationships are marked by certain characteristics our youth should be aware of…:

• Control: One dating partner makes all the decisions and tells the other what to do, what to wear, or who to spend time with. He or she is unreasonably jealous, and/or tries to isolate the other partner from his or her friends and family.
• Hostility: One dating partner picks a fight with or antagonizes the other dating partner. This may lead to one dating partner changing his or her behavior in order to avoid upsetting the other.
• Dishonesty: One dating partner lies to or keeps information from the other. One dating partner steals from the other.
• Disrespect: One dating partner makes fun of the opinions and interests of the other partner or destroys something that belongs to the partner.
• Dependence: One dating partner feels that he or she “cannot live without” the other. He or she may threaten to do something drastic if the relationship ends.
• Intimidation: One dating partner tries to control aspects of the other’s life by making the other partner fearful or timid. One dating partner may attempt to keep his or her partner from friends and family or threaten violence or a break-up.
• Physical violence: One partner uses force to get his or her way (such as hitting, slapping, grabbing, or shoving).
• Sexual violence: One dating partner pressures or forces the other into sexual activity against his or her will or without consent.
• Digital Abuse: Using technology to bully, stalk, threaten or intimidate a partner using texting, social media, apps, tracking etc…”

I hope that you are not seeing any of this behavior. But if you are, I encourage you to have that conversation sooner rather that later. I am giving you a list of resources that should be able to help.

Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: 1-866-331-9474

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673

Trevor Lifeline (for LGBTQ* youth): I -866-488-7386

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: I -800-273-8255

National Runaway Safeline: 1-800-786-2929

National Domestic Violence Hotline I-800-799-7233

National Hotline for Crime Victims: I -855-484-2846

National Street Harassment Hotline: I -855-897-5910

https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/tdv-factsheet.pdf https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/ipv-technicalpackages.pdf https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/yv-technicalpackage.pdf https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/sv-prevention-technical-package.pdf https://vetoviolence.cdc.gov/dating-matters

https://www.breakthecycle.org/

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I am happy to announce that the Annual Ladera West Neighborhood Association Garage Sale will be Friday, May 3^rd and Saturday, May 4^th, 2019. With spring cleaning underway, we encourage you to plan a garage sale or partner with a neighbor to turn some of that clutter to cash. The Office of Neighborhood Coordination (ONC) Weekly E-News of Monday, July 23, 2018 gave us some advice for having a safe garage sale.

“Summer always means garage sales, and there are a few things to keep in mind when having one:

• Only two garage sales per year are allowed by City rule, and can’t exceed three days.
• No signs advertising the sale are allowed on utility poles or in medians.
• If possible, have an assistant or two to help you with sales and cash handling, and to prevent theft of sale items or cash.
• Have plenty of change on hand – $1 bills, quarters, etc. – and keep a close eye on it.
• Have a calculator on hand.
• Specify that sale of all items is final and clarify that all sales are cash only.
• For safety, have the sale in your more-visible yard or driveway, not in the garage.
• Keep your pets indoors.
• Keep your house doors and windows closed and locked, and keep your garage locked.
• Before the sale, double-check all sale items to ensure no personal or financial information is left in them.
• Watch for trip hazards such as cords, boxes, bags, or other clutter, and don’t display breakable items where they can be easily knocked over.
• Keep anything that is not for sale out of sight.
• Any items not sold at the end of the day could be put in a box marked “FREE” to eliminate further packing and cleaning up.
• If you’ve put out signs, remember to take them down at the end of the sale and keep your neighborhood looking tidy.

For additional questions on garage sales, contact the Planning Department’s Zoning & Residential Code Office at (505) 924-3850, or visit: https://www.cabq.gov/planning/planning-faqs/code-enforcement-faqs .”

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Mark your calendars!  The Great American Cleanup will be held on Saturday, April 27^th, 2019.  Meet us at Riconada Park at 9:00 am.  Trash bags and gloves will be provided.  Come meet your neighbors and have fun while we help clean our great neighborhood.

What is the Great American Cleanup?

The Great American Cleanup is a program of Keep America Beautiful.  It is the country’s largest community improvement program that kicks off in more than 20,000 communities each Spring. The Great American Cleanup, which marks its 21st year in 2019, engages more than 3 million volunteers and participants, on average, every year to create a positive and lasting impact.

The Great American Cleanup began as a litter cleanup initiative designed to aesthetically improve our environment by creating cleaner parks, streetscapes and public spaces through litter removal and elimination. To this day, community cleanups remain at the very heart of the campaign, and the results are remarkable. In 2018 alone, nearly 60 million pounds of litter and recyclables were collected by volunteers throughout the country.

Come join us and be a part of the Ladera West Neighborhood Association effort.

See you then!

Shortly before my father passed in 2012, he told me, “These days, you need to drive like a mosquito hawk (i.e.: dragonfly). You need to look in all directions all the times.” How true. Sometimes it feels like we only arrived safely at our destination because of a miracle. The February 2019 issue of the Bernco Sheriff’s newsletter, the “Communicator” reminds us to drive safely and to have a conversation with loved ones about driving safely.

“Let us be honest. We are all guilty of this. We see it every day in the cars around us during our commutes. Changing music while driving, dealing with an unruly child in the back seat, or far more commonly, sneaking a peak at our phone to catch the latest text or email, even just talking on the phone causes serious distraction issues. Distracted driving is not becoming a problem, it IS a problem and we all contribute to it.

Distracted driving is outpacing DWI as the most dangerous violation on the road today, and if we do not do something to slow this, it will only get worse. Look at our children and how connected they are to their mobile devices.

Let me try to communicate to you just why distracted driving is so dangerous. Driving is a multitasking activity. There are many small, individual tasks that we do while we drive: steering, accelerating, braking, signaling, watching opposite direction traffic, watching cross traffic. There is a lot involved in driving. And if there is one thing that humans are not good at, it’s multitasking. We are really good at focusing on one thing, not so much with many things. And what exactly is going on while we are driving? Let’s pick a common speed limit here in town, say, 35 miles per hour and look at some numbers.

For each mile per hour you go, you are traveling about a foot and a half in distance. That doesn’t sound too bad, but let’s look at a vehicle going down 4th Street at 35 miles per hour. That is about 50 feet per SECOND. A quick two second glance at the phone has you traveling 100 feet, about 7 car lengths. Face it, that is a pretty short time period, and most looks at our phones are longer than that. A lot can happen in 100 feet. Cars pulling out in front of us. Cars stopping in front of us. Pedestrians crossing streets. Kids riding bikes. And this distance does not account for you seeing and reacting to the changing circumstances in front of you. Add in another second or two for that, and we are now talking about a 200-foot lane of potential disaster in front of us, all because we thought that whatever message coming through our phone was important enough for us to endanger not only ourselves, but EVERYONE else on the road. IT IS NOT WORTH IT.

We have to learn not to use our mobile devices while driving. We have to teach our children not to use their phones while driving. The cost in damage and more importantly, injury and death is becoming greater with each passing year. It is not worth it.

We here at BCSO are committed to combatting distracted driving in Bemalillo County. We are participants of the Department of Transportation’s DNTXT Campaign, and we actively look for drivers using their phones while driving. Using a phone without a hands-free device is illegal, and offenders will be cited. Many drivers who are stopped for using their phones while driving often think that we should be out stopping “real crime”. Our reply to that is Public Safety is our business, and helping to maintain safety on our streets and highways is a large part of this. Distracted driving causes more damage and injury than you can possibly imagine.

BCSO has a dedicated traffic enforcement unit. BCSO Motors/Traffic Investigations is committed to the enforcement of all traffic laws throughout the County of Bemalillo. If you see any traffic violation related issues, please feel free to contact Captain Joshua Kingsbury at 505-314-0044, and we can work together to put a plan in place to deal with it. As always, stay safe.”

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Once again, we are reminded to be cautious of giving out our personal information. That person posing as the tax man may not be. The Office of Neighborhood Coordination (ONC) Weekly E-News of Monday, February 4, 2019 gives us the tips below to avoid imposters. I would also like to encourage you to get your credit frozen/blocked through each credit reporting agency (Equifax, Transunion, and Experion.) Learn how from the US Federal Trade Commission at https://www.consumer.ftc.gov/articles/0497-credit-freeze-faqs . This is now a free service. And, no one can access your information to open new accounts without your prior authorization.

“‘Tis the season for taxes, and with taxes come the usual fraudulent attempts to steal identities and funds. Below are some tips and reminders about how to avoid possible identity theft:

• The Internal Revenue Service (IRS) reminds residents that they DO NOT initiate contact with taxpayers via e-mail to request personal or financial information, so if you receive an e-mail claiming to be the IRS asking for information, delete it immediately.
• Do not click on links or download attachments from unknown or suspicious e-mails.
• Protect your personal information. Try not to carry your Social Security card in your wallet, and destroy and shred documentation with that information on it.
• If you receive a telephone call or e-mail asking for personal or financial information, hang up immediately and report the call to the IRS Impersonation Scam Reporting hotline at (800) 366-4484, or by e-mailing: phishing@irs.gov .
• Always use security software on your computer, including a firewall and anti-virus protection.
• Have very strong passwords and don’t use the same password for different accounts.
• For more information on potential IRS scams and what you can do to protect yourself, visit: https://www.irs.gov/newsroom/taxpayer-guide-to-identity-theft .”

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